Being a caring person is a beautiful thing but it can also be a double edged sword, because you unintentionally borrow problems along to way. People with problems will be drawn to you, you’ll use all your energy trying to ‘fix’ them and it can leave you absolutely drained.
This is something I really struggled with in the past. I found it really hard to find a happy medium between caring with all I have and not caring at all. But, I learned that you can care without killing yourself in the process and you cannot sacrifice your own happiness, trying to make others happy.
If you’re highly sensitive it doesn’t sit well to step away, but for your own sanity you have to. If you’re like me and do your best to live a life that is drama free, but then take on the problems of everyone you come into contact with, it kind of defeats the object. If you’re going to borrow problems, they may as well have been yours to begin with.
You’ve probably heard the phrase ‘don’t let it bother you so much’ a million times over. It’s a concept you can’t quite grasp, because caring too much is kind of your thing. But, learning to loosen your grip on things that aren’t yours to hold is so important.
How to let go
You can listen and care, but you don’t have to get so emotionally invested. Feel empathy and be there, but let it go afterwards. Remember that these are not your problems. Whilst you’re sitting there listening, you’re absorbing all the energy that the other person is giving out. Notice how you feel when you’ve been around certain people and if your mood plummets when you leave them, their energy is not good for you to be around. If these people are unavoidable, just keep your distance as best you can or make sure you de-stress afterwards.
You may feel like it is your job to fix people, but it’s not. People will only change if and when they want to. I’ve made massive changes to my life and I didn’t do it because anybody told me to, I did it because I wanted to.
Being caring is wonderful, as long as it’s not taken for granted. If you find that when times are tough for you, there’s nobody there… its time to reassess where you’re putting your energy. Caring should be a two way street. You may expect people to care as much as you, but sadly not everybody does. Distance yourself from people that take you for granted.
Look after yourself
Your happiness should always come first, so don’t let your problems take a back seat. If you constantly feel like your having your troubles ‘trumped’, you don’t feel like you can talk about them. Your problems are also valid and taking a step back whilst you deal with them, is not selfish.