Life isn’t always a bed of roses, bad things do happen and things don’t always go our way. You may think you have control of what’s going on and then something smacks you in the face, sending you three steps backwards. It makes you question whether you were ever really on the right track to begin with.
You know how you don’t fully appreciate your health until you’re ill, then you tell yourself you’ll never take your health for granted again. You tell yourself that once this situation passes, you’ll be happy… but really your happiness shouldn’t be determined by anything that goes on outside of you. You need to learn to be happy regardless, to have a place in your mind that is peaceful no matter what’s going on.
We wear our problems like badges, as if they define who we are. Someone asks us how we are and immediately we think of all the ways in which we’re not doing so well. We judge our happiness by how ‘well’ we’re doing at life at that moment, but it doesn’t need to be that way. You shouldn’t place your happiness in anyone’s hands, but your own.
Think of every single thing that happens in your life as a lesson. The good, the bad and the ugly. Every single thing that has happened to you so far has shaped you and everything that is still to come, will shape you more. You will learn and grow with every life experience that comes your way. Embrace the stumbling blocks that come up, because they’re trying to teach you something. When you look at things from this perspective, you can’t be angry. If you can keep this in your mind, it doesn’t matter what curve balls the universe throws at you because you can’t be touched.
We all have times when we feel a little vulnerable, when it is just so hard to remain positive. If you feel like all you do is take knocks, it’s going to take its toll. But ultimately if you want to change the things that happen to you, you need to change how you deal with them when they do.
I used to have the same problems recurring in my life, until I changed the way I reacted to them.
Here are three ways I keep my mind in a positive place
Accept the situation
“Accept what is, let go of what was and have faith in what will be”
Being positive doesn’t mean being totally oblivious to your reality. You don’t need to be totally fine with what’s happening to you, to accept it. Things aren’t completely perfect in your life right now and that’s OK, but nothing lasts forever. Trust that this is where you’re meant to be, even if you can’t see it right now. If something happens, it is perfectly fine for you to feel sorry for yourself for a minute, but get yourself out of it and don’t let it rule you. Let the feelings wash over you and let them wash away. Don’t feel sorry for yourself… you can cry over it or you can accept it, neither one will change the outcome but only one of them will bring you peace. Stop fighting what has happened and look at what you can learn from it.
Don’t overthink it
“Don’t let a bad day make you feel like you have a bad life”
Don’t speculate or assume and don’t worry about things that aren’t 100% fact. If you don’t know something to be absolutely true, then stop worrying about it. Instead, think of the best possible outcome and hold on to it. Be in the present moment, don’t look forwards or backwards. Nothing is ever as bad as you’re overthinking mind tells you it is anyway. We are very good at letting our minds run away with us so when you feel this happening, take control of it. Be aware that these are your thoughts and nobody else’s. Don’t let this one thing take away from the happiness you do have. Don’t look at your life as one big picture of what’s not going right, take each situation as an isolated one. This is one tiny thing in your long life, don’t give it more attention than it deserves. Don’t cling on to your problems, it will stop you from enjoying the little moments in life that make you happy. If you can deal with it, then do it but if you cant then stop worrying about it. It will all work out in the end, it always does. Really, what is the worst thing that can happen anyway?
Let it go
“The past should be a learning experience, not an everlasting punishment”
Letting go is hard but it’s also necessary if you want to be happy. You can’t move forward if you’re still clinging on to the past. You’ve already felt the hit of what’s happened, you don’t need to keep feeling it. Learn from it, but don’t keep reliving it. You don’t need to lose any more precious time thinking about it. Keep in mind that everything happens for a reason, you don’t need to know what that reason is right now but just trust it. Worrying will not magic your problems away, it will just keep you in the right place to attract more negative experiences. So let go of any feelings that don’t help you to progress and move forward. Anytime you feel these feelings creeping back in, just push them out of your head and tell yourself you don’t need to think about them again.
You will keep getting dealt the same hand and the same situations will keep tripping you up, unless you learn what you’re supposed to.